Dead Au Pair!
by Victor Frankenstein
~

Igor, let me be!

Quit spamming me with spares!

I don’t need more body parts—

They're stacked throughout my lair!

Don’t wanna see (don’t make him see)

Your dead au pair!



I don’t wanna buy a torso—

'Cause Lechter's left enough!

I don’t wanna buy more nostrils—

‘Cause frankly, Iggy, yours aren't

Up to snuff…



Don’t wanna see

More Dead Astaire!

So, bootleg bod's 'Billy Mays'—

Please switch to laissez faire!

Don’t wanna see (don’t make him see)

Your dead au pair!



But wait, my little friend—

Though bodies, I’ve a bunch...

I don't have one that's Wonka weird—

But *yours* gives me a ‘hunch’!



So let me cleave (forget repreive)

Your head-y there!



Oh wetly cleave (yo let him reave)

Your head-y there!

- I just wanna cleave and make a new Cher! -

~

[ clearly elated, Dr. Frankenstein, his hunchbacked victim's yawing n' dripping monstrously deformed spinal column cocked jauntily over his shoulder, crows: 'Finally, Igor, some piece!' ]