Are you drinking tonight
Are you sober or tight
Are you totally fissed as a part
Does your memory lapse, do you stand then collapse
Do you say things that aren't all that smart
Does the beer in your stomach sit heavily there
Do gaze down the loo bowl and see vomit there
Is your head spinning round, holding tight to the ground
Tell me, mate, are you ratarsed tonight

SPOKEN:
I wonder if you're pished as me tonight
You know someone said you're not drunk
If you can lie on the floor without holding on
Fate had me drinking too much too much too mush hic!
Round one was Vodka Red Bulls
To keep ush going till midnight
You drank your beer so speedily and never missed the loo
Then came round two
You seemed to whine, said it was mine
And I got them in before
But I'd rather buy another round
Than not drink any more
Now the bar'sh nearly closed, and I'm ill-disposed
With emptiesh all aroun'
And even if you wan' to dring no more
IT'S STILL YOUR F*****G ROUND


Is your head spinning round, holding tight to the ground
Tell me, mate, are you ratarsed tonight?