I don’t do what it is that makes the knowledge grow
I only do a lesson when I’m made to go
My head is a numb thing; my brain is wee
Forever, I will bet, just like a garden pea
The brain cells are too few
I only have a low IQ

The dopey teacher is a ho, an’ has no clue
I give her lots of torment; it’s the way, when new
Her first day was Monday; she said, “Don’t diss”
I put a pale of piddle just above our miss
She’s crazy when wet through
I’m moanin’ now the cane is due

She snapped, and snarled at me; I asked if she’d cease the rants
She then said of my mental skills, “More nous in a bunch o’ plants”
It wasn’t funny

She was givin’ me an evil icy stare
She said, “You think I’m worried, sonny, I don’t scare”
No sense: I’m a dumb thing; won’t leave her be
I’ll never be her pet: she’s kinda sick of me
The teacher took her shoe
An’ battered me ‘til black an’ blue

Oh
I wept as she railed at me; I thought that I’d mess my pants
She’s got hair on her underarms, so I’m guessin’ she’s from France
They like ‘em hairy

I just went an’ sawed a leg off ev’ry chair
Although she said it’s never funny, I don’t care
Then she stated something: a test for me
She never gave the mark that I had hoped to see
“Do better or you’re through”
“I only give a D to you”
She said, “Do better, do better or you’re through”
“A job at Mickey D for you”