MARK ANTONY:

My friends, dear Romans, countrymen, your ears; please lend
As off unto his final rest we, Caesar, send
They said he's a tyrant? Recall this thing:
Not once, not twice, but thrice refused the crown of King [1]
Assassins: dumb and cruel
We Romans needed Caesar's rule!

FG/TT:

Sooth-sayer said: that out in public, do not go
You've enemies in places high that you don't know
Metellus and Casca; friend Brutus, too;
And Cassius, Trebonius, have eyes on you
Becoming -rivals, arch- ;
You'd best beware the Ides Of March

They struck, and down, fell he
Sliced in half, stabbed through and through
Ceasar looked at his BFF
And said, "Brutus, even you?" [2]

Their daggers, bloody!

MARK ANTONY [resuming speech]

Brutus says that Caesar had ambitious ways
I come to bury Caesar, not to sing his praise
He wept for the poor, who ... had not enough
Ambition should be made, methinks, of sterner stuff
He won each war he fought [3]
By ransom: riches, Romans, wrought [4]

[interlude, as citizens ponder Antony's words and begin to disbelieve Brutus' assertion that the killing was necessary to preserve the Republic]

MARK ANTONY:

Oh, oh, let's look at Caesar's will
All his land: he leaves to you
Arbors, orchards, for public parks
Plus one thing none else would do:

A gift of money! [5]

Brutus, highly honored, justifies his act
But all of you loved Caesar once; he loved you back
What could Brutus say that ... could change your mind?
Methinks, perhaps, dear Caesar hath been much maligned
Your best friend stabs; you fall:
The most unkindest cut of all! [6]

It's sad: Your evil, all history bemoans
The good is buried with your bones! [7]




[1] Per Shakespeare, after Caesar's rise to prominence, Mark Antony publicly offered Caesar the crown of a King three times; Caesar refused each time, drawing applause from the crowd and winning their devotion. Apparently, it was a photo-op setup between Caesar and Antony (conjured up by PR flaks, no doubt ;), so that Caesar could look less power-hungry when he did indeed become a dictator in fact. Who says politics ever changes, from 2000 years ago to today?

Rome was founded as a republic, ruled by the Senate and not by any one man. (Not a democracy; Senator was an inherited office of the nobility, but carried obligations of responsibility, integrity, and dignity, all unseen today, of course). IOHO, Caesar's becoming Emperor was actually the first step from a government of laws to a totalitarian dictatorship -- sort of like today, alas -- and was the beginning of the end of the Roman Empire. (The assassination did not stop this trend.) Shakespeare makes Caesar a much more sympathetic character, as did Dante in "Inferno", noted in our parody of same.

[2] The famous line, "Et tu, Bruté?" (apparently with no historical basis, and probably in the wrong language): After the other conspirators stab Caesar, he is most "wounded" (emotionally), when his long-time dear friend Brutus shanks him. "And *you*, Brutus?" -- "Even *you*?"

[3] We should hire him today. And should have hired him for Vietnam.

[4] Common practice in those days was to turn POWs into slaves. If the defeated side was still standing and had any resources, they could pay a ransom to get back their POWs.

[5] In addition to leaving his land, orchards, etc. to be perenially public parks, Caesar left "75 drachmas" to each Roman citizen. A slight anachronism on Shakespeare's part, as the drachma was a coin of ancient Greece (revived in modern Greece until being replaced by the euro). It's difficult to compare worth -- their celll phone bills were much lower than ours -- but at an estimated equivalent of USD $50 today, that would be $3,750 per (male, undoubtedly) adult citizen.

We think that's a great idea. Every President should leave part of his fortune to the people who elected him. If the Kennedys had, we'd all be rich. When the Clintons go, with Bill making $50 millioin/year in speaking appearances.... and just think, the 2008 POTUS race would have been between John Edwards (worth ~ $30 million) and Mitt Romney (~ $250 million). But what a temptation, once they were inaugurated, for someone to ....

Instead, the current POTUS proposes to increase the national debt to about $43,000 for every man, woman, and child in the country. We like Caesar's way better. ;)

[6] Verbatim (and classic) quote from TOS. We think it's one of the most bestest lines ever.

[7] I. e., people forget all the good things you might have done, and remember only the bad.
For example, take Bill Clinton (please!): Whatever good he accomplished, what is it about him for which he'll *always* be remembered? Hmmm.... we rest our case. ;)