To be, or not to be; that is the question here
To kill myself right now, or face the facts I fear
'Cause out-rageous fortune has come to me
Could end it all with just a stroke of knife, or three
Poor Hamlet: feeling blue
And Dusty ain't too happy, too [1]

Don't think of "death", but rather, sleeping evermore
To end unending heartaches, just relax and snore
My poor flesh is heir to ... a thousand shocks
To consummate their end: idea that really rocks!
I'm crazy, but sane, too [2]
They'll not guess what I want to do!

To sleep, perchance to dream
Sounds good, but you take a chance
Shuffle off of this mortal coil [3]
You might with the Devil, dance

That isn't funny!

Think about it; hesitate, perhaps, a hair
And put up with this life that often seems unfair:
"Big Broth-er" in Gummint; folks' sneering looks;
No "change" from Pres-i-dent; all politicians: crooks; [4]
Your lover's leaving you;
A world of folks without a clue!

[interlude]

Oh, oh, you take an "ohverdose"
Say "Good-bye" from comfy bed
No more sweating this weary world
But who knows what lies ahead? [5]

Might not be sunny!

Heaven: is it heavenly? How hot is Hell?
So many peeps have passed away, but none will tell
If I shtupped Ophelia, oh, feel such bliss
Could bear a lot of fardels for a frick' n' kiss [6]
To end life scares me so
I'll take the "blows" and stay, not go!

Just one look at her; no matter: all my sins
I think here's where the fun begins! [7]




[1] Mary Isabel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien (a/k/a Dusty Springfield, because the real name wouldn't fit on a 45-rpm record label ;) had difficulty all her life in reconciling her strict Roman Catholic faith with her lesbianism ("Out: she, or not out: she; 'haps feared rejection"), which may have played a part in her alcoholism, drug dependency, diagnosis of manic-depression, and being hospitalized several times for deliberately cutting herself. So, the mashup of the suicidal Hamlet and the self-destructive Springfield isn't as far-fetched as it seems. (At least, not to TT. YMMV.)

The fact that Hamlet's emotional problems still resonate with us 400 years later is why it's called a "classic".

[2] In the play, Hamlet fakes insanity to cover up his real mood and intentions.

[3] "coil" (from TOS - original soliloquy, not original song) = "sphere", i. e., planet

[4] Some people "believed" in it, but IOHO, Obama vs. Bush is just the same horse, different color.... oops, "horse of a different color" is a *very* old expression (probably dating back to cowboy days), but could be "misinterpreted" here. So strike that in favor of "Same useless, bumbling fool, but merely in different ways".

[5] I. e., after death

[6] "fardels" (from the play) = the burdens of life of which Prince Hamlet complained, both in his verse and ours. :)

[7] IOHO, if Hamlet were in fact shtupping Ophelia (he'd like to have, but didn't), he'd have spent a lot less time worrying about whom his mother was shtupping -- namely, his uncle. Not his mother's own brother -- *that* would be sick -- but rather, her brother-in-law, the brother of Prince Hamlet's late father, the King, who was assassinated by his own brother/Hamlet's uncle, so that said brother could take the Throne -- and also take Hamlet's mother. Which, of course, is not sick at all. :-(
(Not a spoiler; we're told that almost right from the git-go.)

*Now* doncha' wanna go read the play? :-)