Haul your wallet out--gal fee.
You must pay for enjoyment she'll give.

Then you haul it out: it's short and stout, no tall tree.
Impediment, she can't get a grip.
In fact, it is hard to find.

She says, "Hey, your tool's kind of paltry."
Just like some wiseass in grade school.

"But I'll strive--'cause you've paid--to make it long. Shall we
See if we can bend it, unfold the jewel?

"I know you'll be bereaved, if we cannot make love. I'll squeeze.
I know you must have some more!
You're sure an underachiever. Where's my tweezers?

"I'll beat it with glove. Allergy,
To latex I hope you have missed. Palsy
Is what I replicate with fist. Still nothing? Golly!

"Guess I'll walk. There's no hardness today.
But keep the glove for self-play. Auf Wiedersehen."