Here's a story of my very own
Of my travails with a cordless phone
I put it down, what happened was weird:
I blinked and it just.. disappeared
Ah, I should have known its true position because
I put my hand exactly where it was
Then I heard this unlocatable tone
I couldn't find my-a walkabout phone

Ring! Ring! Where's it comin' from?
Ring! Ring! This isn't any fun..
Ring! Ring! Ain't I lookin' dumb?
Ring! Ooooh,

Though I knew my lover was a-going to call
When the phone rang, couldn't find it at all
No excuse, my chances were blown
I couldn't find my-a walkabout phone

No, I couldn't speak to her to ask her to meet
And though the phone was ringing, well, I couldn't see it
Men who don't call are the ones she despise
Now she... goes out with other guys

Ring! Ring! I can hear a little
Ring! Ring! Though I know that it'll
Ring! Ring! Now I'm drooling spittle
Ring! Ooooh,

Here's the moral of the story from the guy who knows
Make sure you know-a where your mobile goes
Don't want to end up sad and alone
So keep tabs on your walkabout phone

Ring! Ring! And from under cover
Ring! Ring! Couldn't find another
Ring! Ring! So I lost a lover
Ring! Ooooh,

Not like I've left it around
And forgot where I put it down
Am I insane when I say
This phone - hid itself away

Here's the moral of the story from the guy who knows
I know it's hiding here under my nose
But I can't find it on my own
WHERE THE F***'S MY WALKABOUT PHONE?

Ring! Ring! Where's the ****** thing?
Ring! Ring! I can hear a ring
Ring! Ring! Can't see anything
Ring! Grrrrrrrr
(repeat to fade)