A gentleman uses Calvin Klein
A lady has Pantene
Some trendy types use L'Oreal
They're worth it, now and then

Some scruffy Jock's dandruffy locks
Are clearly washed wi' nowt
But I made do with me own shampoo
And all me hair fell out

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - Hey!

Me own shampoo, Me own shampoo
I get a better lather with me own shampoo.
It'll take your hair and your scalp off, too
But I get a better lather with me own shampoo.

Some folks think that pro-vitamins
Do wonders for their hair
Or extracts from aloe and stuff
Give them some head-top flair

I added some hydroxide
For the cleanest hair of all. (Right!)
But when I used me own shampoo
I ended up quite bald

1 - 2 - 3 - HO!

Me own shampoo, Me own shampoo
I get a better lather with me own shampoo.
It'll take your hair and your scalp off, too
But I get a better lather with me own shampoo.


Those models in advertisements
They toss their heads and flounce (They do?)
With every little step they take
They make their coiffure bounce (That's right!)

See every hair that gleams up there
It ain't as good as mine (Oh, yeah?)
'Cause what I do with me own shampoo
Makes my whole cranium shine

And 1 - 2

Me own shampoo, Me own shampoo
I get a better lather with me own shampoo.
It'll take your hair and your scalp off, too
But I get a better lather with me own shampoo.

(Dance break, while everyone gets a hairwash)

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - HEY!
And a 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - and a 5 and a 6 and a 7 HO!

Me own shampoo, Me own shampoo
I get a better lather with me own shampoo.
It'll take your hair and your scalp off, too
But I get a better lather with me own shampoo.

I get a better lather with me own shampoo!