NBC, are you listenin'?
There's a great show you're missin'.
You don't do it right, it's "plausibly live."
Messin' up the Winter Olympics.

Watch the luge, but your coverage
should be huge, but no courage.
A big lousy job doing sleds of bob.
Messin' up the Winter Olympics.

In the meadow we can build a snowman
and pretend that he is Jim McKay.
He'll say, "Did they get it right?" Oh, no, man!
But you know you aced it back in the day!

Later on, we'll conspire
how to get directors fired.
There's no miracles, just coverage that's dull.
Messin' up the Winter Olympics.

(instrumental break)

In the middle of cross-country skiing
your broadcasters, they're a bunch of clowns.
From this TV monster we'll be fleeing
until the end of contracts comes around!

For two weeks, out in Turin
your screwups, there's no curin'.
Up there in the Alps, we're wanting your scalps.
Messin' up the Winter Olympics.
Whoa, whoa whoa!
Messin' up the Winter Olympics.
Whoa, whoa whoa!
Messin' up the Winter Olympics.
Whoa, whoa whoa!
(repeat 'til fade)