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Song Parodies -> "Can't Fill This Order"

Original Song Title:

"Down On The Corner"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Fill This Order"

Parody Written by:

Cat

The Lyrics

Oh sure, you may have had some bad restaurant experiences in your life...but have you ever thought about it from the chef's point of view?
It's 5 in the evening, time for the dinner rush
I'm a fancy French chef, the foodies like to gush
Though it pays the bills, I'm starting to go insane
Customers don't like it if I serve them squishy brain!

Can't fill this order
(What DO they like?)
Better call the Gourmet Cooks' Union
And suggest we go on strike!

Debbie is a vegan, and scowls at the sight of meat
Laura is on Atkins, so bread rolls she can't eat
Tom's nose starts to swell up if he gets whiff of an egg
If they want their dinner, then they'd better start to beg

Can't fill this order
I'll go berserk
Hippies want their New Agey foodstuffs
Why'd I pick this line of work?!

Can't fill this order,
"It's high in fat!"
Then I'll give you real French food, lady,
And serve you Filet of Cat!

Sir, don't be a pinhead, please just eat your food!
'Cause you are being saucy, and it's boiling up my mood
How'm I s'posed to know what's pleasing to your lip?
(If you barf, I STILL expect a fifty-dollar tip!)

Can't fill this order
Just sit and eat!
You are gonna try this and like it,
Even pickled badger feet!

Can't fill this order,
"My food is cold!"
But it's meant to be served when freezing,
At least that is what I'm told...

Can't fill this order
Though patrons go,
At least it pulls in giant ratings
On my Fox real'ty show!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 1
 
 5   21
 22
 21
 

User Comments

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Kristof Robertson - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Very cute, Cat. You've obviously never had a British dining experience...it goes like this. Man orders steak. Waiter brings bat's spleen with vomit coulis. Man mumbles to wife "This isn't steak! And it's got cockroaches in it! And a human ear! We're NEVER coming to this cesspit of a restaurant again!" Waiter returns to ask if everything is satisfactory, to which man replies "lovely, thanks!" 555
TJC - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Just great... especially the barf / tip & Filet of Cat lines. Very creative and I love it when I actually know the OS... and for me, almost as important as concept/rhyme is that yours scans perfectly. PS: Kristof's comment was also a hoot!
Ravyn Rant - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Can't wait to see you sing this on "Top Chef"! 555
Michael Pacholek - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
I got a small bug on a lettuce leaf in my salad at a restaurant at Resorts International Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey, today. I swear, I'm not making it up. If that waitress Olga wasn't the cutest little Russian blonde I've ever seen, I would've stormed out in a huff. Or maybe I would've taken Groucho Marx and left in a minute and a huff. Anyway, five rounds of my compliments to the chef.
Stuart McArthur - August 15, 2006 - Report this comment
as soon as the waitress called me a pinhead, I would immediately pull my head in and show some respect - it's just a pity it has to go that far - very well done, Cat, and bullseye about those Fox Reality cooking shows - 555
The Charnstar - August 26, 2006 - Report this comment
There goes my dreams of being a chef, LOL! Great stuff Cat, I absolutely love it, 5-5-5
The Charnstar - September 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yeah... What that guy above me said
Agrimorfee - September 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent work as always from the Distaff Spaff. Loved how you used "penny" from the third verse and changed it into the word *I* always heard it, as "pinhead"!
Cat - September 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone!! And Agri..."Distaff Spaff?" That's one of the most wonderful compliments I've ever gotten, but I think I'm a FEW parodies behind him, so I hope I haven't peaked yet. (and if you're wondering, I did indeed get the "pinhead" line from reading misheard lyrics of this song. I love misheard lyrics.)
wannabemustangjockey - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) So I wasn't the only one who heard it as "pinhead" in the OS...
Matthias - September 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Spaff-tastic, Eh, Agri??? I have to admit Cat this one was good!
Chris Bodily TM - September 17, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) So "pinhead" was NOT the original lyric?? Wow... Talk about unintelligible lyrics. Anyway, ziss parody was just hilarious to zee bone! Zat "Barf/Fifty-dollar tip" line is classic, Cat. This is almost on the same level as Johnny. I wonder how's he's gonna top this one. Exquisite work. 555 stars for your restauraunt!
Jack Wilson - September 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This was great! 555!
Tim Mayfield - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This was true cuisine. LOL'd enough to scare any panhandlers away.
Rick C - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "Pickled badger feet" ???? Now that sounds tempting. Good job on this one, Cat. 555
Johnny D - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yee-haw, I can HEAR CCR singin' it !
bobpiecheese - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) If that chef thinks HE'S got troubles, he should thank his lucky stars he doesn't cook for MY family. Well done, Cat!
Michael McVey - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Definitely a 555-calorie parody, Cat. This is a barrel of fun (lol). --MM
Stuart McArthur - September 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above, and as the owner of my own bar, I definitely sympathise with the waitress's point of view - funny stuff Cat
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - September 27, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Do you know what the chef used to say in a nazi restaurant? Order! I don't know what that has got to do with anything, but this goes on my tip list. :-)
Kristof Robertson - September 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above. Classy writing from a classy girl.
Jeff Reuben - September 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Ah, the story of a poor customer who has a waitress who can't figure things out =) Funny!
Red Ant - October 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Not sure how I missed this the first time around... Great work, Filet of Cat, and kudos for varying olive the choruses. =)
caleb - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Very Very Funny, i havent heard the original song, but i think i would much rather listen to this one
Jack Wilson - December 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Ill admit when I first saw the name of this parody n the SOTM thread, I hadnt opened it to see what the OS was so I thought it was to REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling" so I srarted singing "I cant fill this order anymoooooore" LOL and yes Im wirting that,actually starting it right now
Spaff, the Tom Cat - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment
More saucy product from a squishy brain. Tasty!
Rick C - March 06, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Not your best work, Cat but still a good one.
Below Average Dave - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Then I'll give you real French food, lady, And serve you Filet of Cat!. . .I think you are mixing Chinese Cuisine with French Cuisine . . .I have to agree with Rick here. . .some small pacing quibbles, and well, having read Fillings (which is further down the list in the comp) I kinda already know which of your songs I like best. . ..but don't get me wrong, this IS a good parody and it's quite funny.
Matthias - March 15, 2007 - Report this comment
I read this to "Piano Man" once again, but with the starting line being, "It's 5 in the evening, time for the dinner rush"... Who can blame me?
wannabemustangjockey - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTY - Still feels weird to read, even months later. But given that I have never once fully understood the OS, it's not so bad.

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