My pals all hurried to get me to sea,
They said, “You’ll catch something—just wait and see!”
So, in the drink went my hook with bait raw;
I snagged the biggest fish that you ever saw.

“Gaff bream!” That all from them I heard.
“Gaff bream—try to reel it in’s absurd!
“Gaff bream!” Their advice I scorned.
Their riposte was, “OK, pal, don’t say you weren’t warned!”

I couldn’t haul the beast out of the sound;
This was nothing like the time I caught flound’.
I’d abjured gaffing for a gaffeing spree. . .
I was a flop piscatorially.

“Gaff bream!” Should have heeded their words.
Ass stream—my shorts filling with turds.
Laugh team—my plight they all scorned
And reiterated: “Pal, don’t say you weren’t warned!”

I felt rejected and myself I blamed;
I should have hefted in a fish I’d maimed.
When you go fishing, best to have a plan;
I didn’t, and in the water I am.

Gagged me, the swells; above I heard
Ghastly sound of spurned starts-with-“A” bird.
Nasty then came the sudden storm—
All hands went down, but one; Fishmael I was born.