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Song Parodies -> "Lookin' Like A Crack Whore (Pop Diva Song)"
Original Song Title:
"Lookin' Out My Back Door"
Original Performer:
CCR
Parody Song Title:
"Lookin' Like A Crack Whore (Pop Diva Song)"
Parody Written by:
Claude Prez
The Lyrics
Just home watchin' MTV, look what's on now, oh gee
Here comes the club, that just shows more and more
Here's some news that's just in:
Britney is disgustin'
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore
Dances like a stripper, feel like I should tip her
Look at all the skanky creatures dancin' on the floor
That's right, I just seen a
New one by Christina
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore
Talent is irrelevant; just shake 'em if you can
Won't you have some pride; you're lookin' mighty nude, doo doo doo
Undies have a halo
Provided by Ms. J-Lo
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore
Gabardine and leather pants look great on little cans
But when they get wide, with all the flyin' boobs--boo hoo hoo
We don't need no tarot, see what lies tomorrow
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore
No more watchin' MTV, change the channel oh gee
Goodbye all you nasty hoochies dancin' on the floor
They'll all end up like Charo
You can bet your Aguil-aro
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore
Here comes the club, that just shows more and more
Here's some news that's just in:
Britney is disgustin'
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore
Dances like a stripper, feel like I should tip her
Look at all the skanky creatures dancin' on the floor
That's right, I just seen a
New one by Christina
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore
Talent is irrelevant; just shake 'em if you can
Won't you have some pride; you're lookin' mighty nude, doo doo doo
Undies have a halo
Provided by Ms. J-Lo
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore
Gabardine and leather pants look great on little cans
But when they get wide, with all the flyin' boobs--boo hoo hoo
We don't need no tarot, see what lies tomorrow
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore
No more watchin' MTV, change the channel oh gee
Goodbye all you nasty hoochies dancin' on the floor
They'll all end up like Charo
You can bet your Aguil-aro
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore
*********The More You Ho********Drugs and prostitution are serious social problems. That's what we hear, anyway. Wewish to acknowledge that we've never actually seen a "crack whore" that resembles J-Lo,or indeed even seen a real life "crack whore" that wasn't on TV. It's called"exaggeration". Also, we're aware that many young people idolize these pop stars, to thepoint where their identities may even be tied to their associations with them. If you areone of these young people, let us reassure you: We know your idol is very talented andhard-working and we're "stoopid", ignorant, and, of course, we suck. Also jealous. Oh,how we wish we could be like them! Alas, we don't have the hair. Anyway, no need todefend your role models here; they're doing pretty well. We thank you in advance forgracefully tolerating this indulgence.
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Voting Breakdown
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User Comments
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Claude! Best parody of the week! Maybe of the month! The footnotes were almost funnier than the parody! OMG, but anyway, youre just jealous because youre not a crack whore
I could't agree more.
Splort! I had tears in my eyes, I was gasping for oxygen, my sides hurt... I wouldn't be surprised if my left side's laid wide open and in need of stitches. ...oh man... and just when I thought I'd collected myself, I read the footnotes and lost it all over again. You're almost TOO good! :)
Outstanding, Claude - good conclusion - but how did Charo end up?
An excellent work compiled by your crack staff! And Charo still looks good at 59. She's been around, doing commercials for Verizon and Old Navy. She also thinks Shakira is copying her. I got no problem with that!
Excellent! This has to be the best the best parody on the site.
Hey, thanks everyone. And Billy: This is the internet; what makes you think I'm not a crack whore? Melhi: "Splort" people got...ah, forget it...John, thanks for asking about Charo; I did a search and Mike is right (of course)--she looks great AND she's up for the Nobel Peace Prize! So hush my mouth! What? Oh, that's PIECE prize. My bad. No, seriously, she's doing Vegas of course and does look pretty good but what the hell. Thanks again you all.
That was very, very good, Claude...:D
Charo/Aguilaro cracked me up. Pun intended. And if MTV babes really look like crack whores, I need to spend more time on the street.
Corrections: Charo is 61, not 59 (which makes it even more amazing that she looks that good, or maybe the plastic surgeons did a better job with her than with Phyllis Diller), and her commercial was for Sprint, not Verizon. As they say in TIME, Mike regrets the errors.
I must have missed this one first time around, 555 Chalupas and a Taco to boot, Claude Man.
Wild Man! Can't wait til I earn some chalupas from you!! :D
The two things I most admire about other parody writers are #1-humor and levity and # 2 being innovative with a subject matter and or concepts. I'm pretty new at the writing aspect myself Pat. I try to learn more each day as I read the works of the vets at this site. Their talent is exceptional to say the least. I found no better place in cyberspce to hone this craft.
One of my favorite CCR tunes! Great work, fall down funny.
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