RADAGAST

It's true! His brew! The Brown One made us cheer!
This movie we've been waiting all the year.

The Valar sent so many moons ago here
Radagast the Brown, it was his lot,
First of the regal Istari to know fear
Of what he got
A Morgul blade deep hidden by the members
Of the noble wise White Council. It cannot
Exist in Middle Earth. Elrond remembers
Sealed deep to rot

It cannot! It cannot!
This news dumbfounds the great Istar'
Look what Raddy got! He's gone to pot!
That's how magicians are!
In creepy Dol Goldur a strange cold sundown
As fate, the Angmar witch king, makes it clear
His master's growing hot. This solitary spot
For slowly-ever-festering so near
In damn earshot

Radagast! Radagast!
His name may give mere mortal pause
But in Radagast, Radagast
Are all of nature's laws:
The forest that grows lush upon the hillside
And every creature in it that appears
With Sauron's choking knot, the life-force starts to clot
We need some powerful conjuring right here
What have you got?

Saruman, he will scoff, and play the threat down
Already been consulting Palantir?
But trust him not one jot
Rad is no mushroom sot
He's busily ever aftering the queer
He knows what's what.

Evil stirs in Mirkwood, out of tune here
The animals and plants are in the cot
But Rad's powers have their limit. Where's Mithrandir?
We're in a spot!

Radagast. Rad aghast!
Rally Beorn to the cause.
Radagast. Such a blast
When his rabbits hit their paws
His sled goes mad mad rush upon the hillside
Burn off warg and goblin, dwarves all clear
In short he's simply fast
His ass is lightning-grassed
Those orkies ever shaftering, that's dear
Old Radgast.

View movie version here.