Come, gather 'round people, wherever you view
and this crazy Chi-town columnist will come through
and accept it that soon, venom he's gonna spew.
If a losing streak soon will be stagin'
then you'd better hope it doesn't happen to you.
At Sun-Times, ol' Jay is ragin'!

Come, writers and columnists, put down your pen.
Pack typewriters up, their time won't come again.
And watch how those nasty words Jay's gonna spin
and there's no tellin' which Cub he's namin'.
They are losers now, not expected to win.
At Sun-Times, ol' Jay is ragin'!

Come, panelists with him who go "Around the Horn."
His rivalry with Woody Paige is reborn.
He's been prepared for it since early this morn.
As Woody's decomposin' and agin'
he gets ready on Jay to heap tons more of scorn.
At Sun-Times, ol' Jay is ragin'!

Come, big-shouldered city, on Lake Michigan.
He will criticize what he can't understand.
Of his faculties he is not much in command.
His shtick'll never be soon changin'.
He says Ozzie Guillen's nuts.
Oz says, "Talk to the hand!"
At Sun-Times, ol' Jay is ragin'!

The line, it is drawn, the Curse on the Cubs.
The Bears' quarterback commits many more flubs.
And Jay will be writing about many more shlubs.
His anger will never be fadin'.
And the first one now, it just might be you, bub.
At Sun-Times, ol' Jay is ragin'!