[brief instrumental intro]

I eat everything I see
I'm so obese
My ass is fat
I eat much more than I need
that's gross, man
And that's a fact
I get in my car every night to
go get a midnight snack

Food I like is fat'ning
all of it is packed with calories
My gut I am packing
On the scale I see "three-thirty-three"
Now I cannot see my penis
at the can when I try to pee

My spouse, she grumbles
"You're way too fat now, Paul"
Each night I'm humbled
"No sex tonight, Fat Paul"
My fat ass; not desired
my wife won't touch me at all

[instrumental break]

Well, being fat's really stinky
it's no fun in the least
Folks stare when you're out shopping
Look at you like you're a freak
You speak to chicks; not impressed, sir
Not fun at all to be obese

Chow down at brunch each Sunday
More food you pack into your gut
Eat mounds of food; your gut sways
Your suit has split around your butt
All that you eat; it's made you fat, man
You must quit or you will stay plump

[brief instrumental out to end fade]