I was watching flicks on "Lifetime", women bashing men
My stoned-ness was a virtue, for T.V. sucked again
I got up from the sofa bed, crammed into my dorm
Turn off that crap, discovered--- Shelter from the porn

And if I watch the thing again, you can bet your ass
I'll just watch A&E there, or a-something else with class
In a world of Jerry S. where hookers are the norm
I'm turning off the boob tube---Sheltered from the porn

Not a word in any sitcom, is remotely humorous
And people on the "real" shows do nothing but yell and cuss
My time might be better spent if I practiced the french horn
I'm turning off "Fear Factor"---Sheltered from the porn

I was burned out from the talk shows, buried in the yak
Poisoned by the re-runs, I'd seen "em ten years back
Needed some new diversion, social life forlorn
It's about that time to be---Sheltered from the porn

Suddenly I turned it off, I went out in the air
I looked up at the cloudy mists, why it's a world out there
It then dawned on me so peacefully, that I could be reborn
The media let me out---Sheltered from the porn

Now I went out for dinner, worked on social skills
Did not watch television, found some newer thrills
Just to think it all began, when my T.V. Guide got torn
Now I'm a better person---Sheltered from the porn

Well, to make a long story shorter, I made every minute more
I did a lot of drugs and booze, and every night a whore
And my one-eyed baby-maker, was getting pretty worn
At least my set had freed me---Shelter from that porn

And sometimes when I awaken, sleeping on a bench
And women walk across the street, to avoid the stench
Once, that television guided me, now my thoughts I cannot form
And here I thought that I was ---Sheltered from the porn

In a little hilltop graveyard I lie here in repose
I tried to run from evil, but it just grabbed my toes
And on my little patch of dirt, a dog relieves each morn
I guess there really isn't---Shelter from the porn

Well, the lesson here I've learned way too late, that it's good to burn up time
Guess my life of lethargy wasn't as bad as wine
If I could only turn back the clock, I would watch T.V all morn
Give up, there's no achieving---Shelter from the porn