Long time I've waited for them to give
Me the key to the big chief's door.
Since they didn't give me a back-shiv,
I know I have made the score.

For years and years I did seek it:
The top job on the top floor.
Like a robber baron I can live,
Thanks to colleagues on the board.

So now like a plutocrat I live,
Although I am still the board's whore.
So now it's become my place to give
The boys a back scratch and more.

The Swiss bank account is secret;
Into it some profits pour.
Each month I e-mail the place and give
A cash present to the board,
A cash present to the board.

Since I got this gig, it's large I live,
Just like I never could before.
But my admin gives me a back-shiv,
Because on her I tried to score.

She told Interpol my secrets;
Now I sit behind a door.
At the next meeting, I hope they'll give
Me commutation, the board,
Or at least parole, the board.