"Right," said Dave "Me and Nick together
Coalition, Con/Lib here we go."
Number Ten now, we’re the top two men now,
We was getting nowhere alone.
And so, Nick made a cuppa tea and...

"Right," said Dave, "Give a shout for Gideon."
Number 11 that’s where Gideon goes,
I’ll give you five seats, in a cabinet of down beats,
We was getting nowhere alone
And so Nick made a cuppa tea.

And Dave had a think, and he thought we ought to make some drastic cuts now,
Never mind the buts now.
Front line services can go, sorry Nick you can’t say No.
“Right," said Nick, "Can we get rid of Trident?
The Lib Dem Party said that it should go.”
Dave and Gideon grinned, “Your Policies are all binned,”
You’ve screwed your voters, and very soon they’ll know,
So Dave said, "Nick make another cuppa tea."
And Nick said, "right-o."

"Right," said Dave, "We’ll scrap the N.I. increase,
For employers only, "the workers will still pay.”
We keep the rich onside, give the poor a rough ride,
Coz that’s what Torys do;”
And so Nick made a cuppa tea and.....

"Right," said Dave, "Let’s sort out the immigrants,
Your amnesty is next in line to go."
“And your pledge on PR, did you really think I’d say Yah?
Maybe AV., that’s as far as I will go.”
And so Nick made a cuppa tea......

And Dave had a think, and he said, "Look, Nick,
There is no need to look sad, You haven’t had it too bad,
The Lib/Dems came in last, but I’ve pulled you up the ladder fast,

“Right," said Dave, Just one more thing to make clear,
And that’s make sure we stay here, even when you’re gone”
We’ll have a fixed term Parliament, 5 years of Tory Government,
In power is the place where we belong.
And so Nick made a cuppa tea
And then he went home.

(Dave said to Gideon “The trouble with Nick is,
He’s so gullible.” “Yah” said Gideon, “Lucky for us.”)