It was nearly 40 years ago
And old Bruce, he really stole the show
He was running like a man on fire
Took the whole world on, from wire to wire
So may I introduce to you
The man I think you barely knew
As Jenner's pecker's lonely in trash ca-a-an

Well, Jenner's pecker's lonely in trash can
Just lying there beside his balls
Jenner's pecker's gone and that's no bull
And soon she'll have a brand new show
Jenner's pecker's lonely
He's lost his baloney
All for Caitlyn's dog and pony show
It's wonderful to see her
Each week you'll get a thrill
A train wreck in a "C" cup
You will want to turn away but can't
You'll want to, but you can't

I can't wait until they start the show
"Cause I'm sure that we just gotta' know
How she's gonna' deal the strife
Of her brand new Topsy-turvey life
And now the time has come at last
So go ahead and grab the shears
'Cause Jenner's pecker's really got to go-o-o

Grab... The... Shears

What would you think if I sang in a key
One much higher than you'd think that it would be
Finish your beer while I spin you a tale
I just hope you won't think less of me...

(Yelling)
Wait... Where are you going?... Hey! Come back... Aw man!