Have you seen my lyric pidgins?. . .
Scrawling what I blurt.
And for all my pyrrhic pidgins
Likely you will curse,
“Nothing could be worse
My pate is pounding!”

Have you heard my bitchin’ pidgins?
Your “worst” words are curt:
“Please nix your unbidden pidgins.
Worthless as the dirt,
They make my ears hurt
As they are sounding.”

You decry what I am hacking
Out as on the keyboard I pound.
In your eyes there’s something lacking—
I get semantic shellacking.

Wretched fare, my langue-gone pidgins,
Piddlin’ pidgin piles.
Each of them is not a winner,
Prompts no pidgin smiles.
Truncated they’re “dial’s”*
Your ears are achin’!

[fade on sounds of unintelligible babble]

*dialects