I've got every reason to squirt and be damp
'cause I've lost control of my bladder's clamp.
No time to make my way
To take a leak. . .now I'm OK
'cause I'm wrapped, so quite dry's my bed.

I had to whizz--couldn't hold it
And so I'd soak the sheets.
I had pee runnin' down to my feet.
But I'm good because now
I am not leaking like a cow
'cause I'm wrapped, so quite dry's my bed.

Now that I'm dry, peein' ain't my care. . .
Got 4-ply adult underwear.
It's quite easy to hide away, hey,
When it fills, a change on the way.

But when I poo, then every ply will unfurl.
Sometimes it's just a fart, and air will swirl.
When I break wind, all I must do
Is listen to the folks all 'round go
"Euw!"
"An ill wind!"
"I'll die!"
"What's dead?!"

Now that I'm dry, peein' ain't my care. . .
Got 4-ply adult underwear
Ain't gonna cry when I give way, nay,
When I wee that is now OK.

But when I poo, then every ply will unfurl.
Sometimes it's just a fart, and air will swirl.
When I break out a number 2,
I doff the underduds. . .dump in the loo.
With Depends®, quite dry's my Keds®.