He drinks; it's gotta be SAD. . .plies drink to L.A. . . .ketch!
He cannot drive, which is bad; all go on freeway.

I give the Tlingit a ride;
He's got some trinkets for bri-i-ide.
I gypped the Tlingit and lied
About the fare.

He says he lives on the eastern edge of the town, stretched.
He used to use teams of beasts for getting around.

He used to drink, get pie-eyed;
He used to clink it, the i-i-ice.
I give the Tlingit a ride
Through smoggy air.

I know why he was writhin' outside:
He wears sealskin, tight, in Malibu; it might be
A good idea to doff the bear hide.
The desert winds bite; the temp's a fright: 103.

I think he's gonna be glad he slinked at midday
Into my max-AC cab. . .feels like Glacier Bay.

I give the Tlingit a ride;
Once pink, now blue is my hi-i-ide.
I give the Tlingit a ride,
In frosty air.

It's frozen while he's ridin' inside;
I have to pick ice off of the dash lights to see.
Oh no! Something strays off that bear hide;
I have to pick lice; in my back gash bites a flea!

My head is itchin', I'm peeved; my bitchin' resounds. Kvetch!
I feel like a bitch you'd leave off down at the pound.
I'm ditchin' my Tlingit ride;
I'm pitching him right outsi-i-ide.
I give the Tlingit a snide oath and I glare.

He won't pay the fare,
I mope, "That ain't fair!"
I hopelessly blare:
"Pole a polar bear!!"