My toe has got a very raw feel:
The pain refers way down to the heel.
So then off to the doc's place I go,
F*ck my HMO.
He bent down and took a toe lick.
I don't like the verdict he gives:
"Looks like it's a bad bunion."

I tell him, "Doc, you know I'm no he-man.
Please tell me I don't need surgery, man!"

"You've gotta get new shoes, or you'll crawl
'Cause this pair appalls."

Standing in them makes it real sore, yeah
I'm lame in one but not in both feet, yeah.

"That foot smells like an onion."

He gets a tool that looks like a drill,
Then gives me a shot for some pain-kill.
He wastes no time and then starts to ream,
Listening to screams.
Drilling a hole for a toe shunt.
Trying not to bust a joint, yeah.
Look, he got that bad bunion!