Wednesday morning at twelve o'clock as her day begins
Rising from bedsheets she doesn't wash
Raiding the fridge for some grub to nosh
She goes downstairs to the rec-room clutching a chicken leg
Planting her buttocks down noisily
Turning on her large T.V.

She---(Just got the new T.V. Guide)
Is staying---(Look what's in this T.V. guide)
Home----(Maybe the talk shows will have something new)
She's here to stay like she's done every day
For so many years...

Father comes home from work and walks into his dining room
Looks on the table there's nothing there
Plops himself down in his beat-up chair
He pours down a stiff one and cries
To his wife "Where's my dinner dear?"
He knows the answer by heart by now
He went and married a lazy cow

She---(You never take me nowhere!)
Is staying---(I want to go out somewhere)
Home----(You always say that you're always too tired)
She's here to grouch
As she sits on her couch
For so many years

Wednesday evening at two o'clock she now comes to bed
Waking him up with her hacking cough
After she's seen the networks sign off

She---(Why don't we talk anymore?)
Is staying---(We never talk anymore)
Home---(You're not cooped up in this house every day)
Something inside
Feels like it's up and died
For so many years

She's staying home (Die die)