He went to a med school, I assume as I co-pay--
Extraordinary style; he's got unorthodox ways.

He starts to lance (lance, lance, lance, gets me bleeding a lot)
Without a shot (lance, lance, lance, he gives me no shot)
I'm bleeding a lot (lance, lance, lance, now I'm bleeding a lot)
Lance (lance), lance (lance), lance (lance), Ow!

I tell him I'm down; I figure that he will stick
A syringe in my side, but he gives a vein a nick

And starts to lance (lance, lance, lance, and I'm bleeding a lot)
Into a pot (lance, lance, lance, right into a pot)
Hoped he'd prescribe pot (lance, lance, lance, I hoped he'd prescribe pot

Lance (lance), lance (lance), lance (lance), Ow!

Owwww!!!!!!

[medical instrumental interlude]

When I'm weak and blanched, I've lost a stone of weight;
He starts to drool, then he shows me that he sups with his fangs.

But first he'll lance (lance, lance, lance an aperitif hot)
He drains the pot (lance, lance, lance, he imbibes the whole pot)
Bites before it clots (lance, lance, lance, Type O is what he got)

Lance (lance), lance (lance), lance (lance), O.

He loves to lance (lance, lance, lance till the bleeding has stopped)
And he's a sot (lance, lance, lance, he is a bleeding sot)
My heartbeat is shot (lance, lance, lance, can't pump of which there's naught).

Stanch (stanch?), Stanch (stanch?), Stanch (stanch?), No!

Lance. . . .