~

Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh,
Here I am at - Camp Faux’twata
Camp is all about us ‘feigning’
And they stress that while we’re here there’s no abstaining

We go hiking - nearly daily
Walking tucked-up - Tina Fey’ly
You remember - Leonard Skinner
He was table dancing last night after dinner

All the counselors - goose the waiters
And the lake has - master baiters
And the head coach - wants mo’ sissies
So he reads to us from something called ‘Lewd Gypsies’

Now I know that - this is shocking
But my bunkmate wears ten cock rings
You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize his Crisco party

Take me home, oh Muddah Fadduh,
Take me home, I hate Faux’twata!
Don't leave me -- out in the forest where
I might -- get eaten on a dare
Take me home -- I promise I will not make noise
or circle jerk with other boys,
Oh please don't make me stay,
What’s up---you - *think* - I’m - gay?

Dearest Muddah, darling Fadduh,
I’ll stop dressing up like Gaga
Let me come home if ya miss me
I will even let Ms. Alley hug and kiss me.

Wait a minute, guys are hailing,
Guys are naked, guys are nailing!
I’ve come out now -- gee that's better
Muddah, Fadduh kindly disregard this letter!

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