The crowd starred wide-eyed as my briefs were viewed
Shocked the world with underoos
This mess was on the news
Cause... This press conference was huge
What... They saw made folks complain
Since... My "dork" was on display
In... Some boxers that were quite frayed, Obscene

Caused such a huge fright
With tighties bright white
It's time to grieve, dude... Glad they weren't see-through
I'm glad I wore a belt... Or my pants would have fell
Still I heard people yell and boo

Slacks... Weren't snared, It's true
Critics glared, I'm screwed
Since I had a wide fly (Ay-yi-yi-yi)
Think I might hide... Until all this subsides
Such a drag since things tur-ur-ur-ur-urned rough!
Saw the new memes since I made you woozy
Looking way more loopy
Even lost some groupies
My underwear's in view
Now I swear I'm doomed
Since I had a wide fly (Ay-yi-yi-yi)

Zipper was eyed and the laughs weren't stifled
My junk was not delightful
Blamed my dumb suit in denial... Since I'm to blame
It's clear that it offends
That... News clip's the biggest trend
I'm... The clown, The newspapers penned aghast

Should... Have skipped that Sprite
Crystal clear hindsight
I had to pee, dude... And now I'm shamed, true
Those undies gave me hell... And that scene wasn't swell
I'll claim a warlocks spell went "Poof!"

Oh! Chicks were scared and spewed
Yanked out hair, Unglued
Since I had a wide fly (Ay-yi-yi-yi)
In the limelight... There wasn't a dry eye
Newsman gagged and taped my-y-y-y-y-y chub
Room turned gloomy, Pants were held up loosely
Almost saw my booty
Damn, It made me moody
Oh! This affair's a zoo
It's on air at two
You can see my wide fly (Ay-yi-yi-yi)

Yoooooou perceeeeeeived...
My uuuuuunzipped... jeeeeeeans....
Once blushing now I'm peeeeeeeeved
I'm snubbed by you
It was not a crime, It was an accident you loons!

Need a PR Guide to impress you goons
Flag unfurled in this Congress room
Saw my Fruit of the Looms
Stuck... That shot up on Youtube
Yuck!

Unprepared and spooked
People starred and puked
Since I had a wide fly (Ay-yi-yi-yi)
Up on Dateline... And Saturday Night Live
Zipper snagged and I'm a-a-a-a-a-a putz
Cheap-ass Gucci, Mocked me here to Fuji
All those snobs were snooty
Looking dumb as Goofy
Facts... I've shared with you
All those squares were rude
Since I had a wide fly (Ay-yi-yi-yi)