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Song Parodies -> "Weird Promo Cut"

Original Song Title:

"Red Solo Cup"

Original Performer:

Toby Keith

Parody Song Title:

"Weird Promo Cut"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

One of the few things I know about professional wrestling is the concept of the promo, which as I understand it is a short film meant to hype you up and take down your opponents in a more verbal style. Of course, given my limited exposure, the ones I've heard of are a little on the "bugshit" side of affairs...
Hey, well, that was weird, huh

A weird promo cut, not quite unacceptable (mmm-hmm)
But it was still odd and quite lamentable
The frowny faces scrawled upon his pectorals
Were totally, utterly sad (that's right)
Real weird promo cut, will only be notable
For how many lines will be memed, so quotable
Who needs the context? I'd call that negotiable
It's a laugh that all can have, whoo!

Weird promo cut (uh-huh), all kinds of nuts
Completely barmy, totally barmy
Rewatch that weird promo cut, how many drugs
Makes you that barmy? He was so barmy

Now I really love all the weird things he spat
But I really hate just how lit'ral was that
When the spit runs down the cam'ra lens, gack
It makes the visuals muddy (disgustin')
Which is not what I want, please don't block off my vision
Because his whole outfit was quite some decision (batshit)
The colours, the logos, the whole composition (batshit)
Is that a headless stuffed bunny (uh, whoo!)?

Weird promo cut, pure, Grade-A nuts
Whole mess was barmy, completely barmy (barmy)
Shocked at that weird promo cut (what?), pour out my cup
'Cause that was barmy (barmy), just way too barmy (just way too barmy)

Now I know that this dude is not normally mellow
When he's in the ring, he's quite the loud fellow (ah-ah)
But this time is like he's played by Jared Leto
That actor who's method is "douche" (here we go now)
Weird promo cut was super fantastic
As long as it's only (haha) in-character antics
It's so hard to tell, pro wrestlin's made of dramatics
But until we know, I'll say
Weird promo cut, you might make me cuss (whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Just, whoa!)
What the...what the (shit?) sh-shit (shit, shit (yeah), shit (yeah), or balls)?
What in the actual shit?

Weird promo cut (gonna rewatch it now), so very nuts
Patently barmy (completely barmy), it's truly barmy (totally barmy)
That nutballs weird promo cut (oh, it's nuts (whoo!), so nuts), how was it run?
So clearly barmy (what was that nonsense in there), perfectly barmy (about spaceships? Was there any context?)
Weird promo cut (whoo! Weird promo) (c'mon, c'mon), each frame is nuts (yeah, whoo!)
It's wholly barmy (whole mess was barmy, whoo!), utterly barmy (completely barmy, yeah)
Weird promo cut (oh, weird promo cut), what's not to love (promo cut, yeah)?
It's so damn barmy (promo cut), great stuff, so barmy, yeah-ee-yeah-eah (promo cut)

Promo cut (whoo! Ba-doo-doo), promo cut (oh-boo-doo)
Promo cut (ba-doo-doo), promo cut (a-doo-deedla-doo)
Promo cut (uh-huh (whoo!), mmm), promo cut (dee-dum-ba)
Promo cut (boo-dee-da-ba-ba)

That line about spaceships was a reference to the Ultimate Warrior, for those wondering. And I gotta agree with Toby Keith, this may well be the stupidest song I ever heard in my life. His words.

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Pacing: 3.0
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Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

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