Long chat, I don't want a long chat
Told you I don't want that, you continue
You use me to vent then rudely
Imply it's my fault I'm not friendly, as if you're not a douche
Want my hair cut, trimmed just like so
Regret that I paid first over the phone
Since you won't shut up, no hair on the floor
That once was mine, it's true

Talkative barber, you're such a pain
Gossip that I find so borin', you won't refrain

Hard times, you rant 'bout your hard times
But what if I don't quite, quite, quite, quite care?
It's a bit rude, I know, but I have to say
I'm no therapy expert nor one on hair
Therefore that's why I paid you to take those
Scissors there and slice 'til I don't look gross
Your father's an asshole? Car's dead? You're broke?
Not what I paid for, dude

Talkative barber, drives me insane
I can't help you with your many problems so shut your face (I'll say that rudely, I'll say that rudely)

Yes, I'll say that rudely, I'll say that rudely
Can call me rude, could act way more rudely
You've acted rude, you've acted rudely
I'll say that rudely, I'll say that rudely
I've heard you ramble 'bout lots of shit
Not one inch of hair's gone from my head
Is ev'ryone else busy? I'd love to switch
To anyone but you

Talkative barber, rantin' for days
Well, at least that's what it feels like, do your job, mate (I'll say that rudely, I'll say that rudely)
It's a pain, it's a pain
It's a pain, you're a pain
You're a pain

Long chat, I don't want a long chat