Song Parodies -> "Death by a Thousand Hits"

Original Song Title:

"Death by a Thousand Cuts"

Original Performer:

Taylor Swift

Parody Song Title:

"Death by a Thousand Hits"

Parody Written by:

Gluteus Minimus

The Lyrics

Playing Minecraft for your first time...

Dying in Minecraft’s death by a thousand hits
Spiders waking me up
Build swords but it’s not enough
‘Cause the nighttime comes, and you’re surrounded
Looking out the windows of my house
Even though zombies break down doors
Torches are not flickering here
‘Cause I can’t pretend I’m good at this when I’m not
It’s death by a thousand hits

I stop to kill a cow
I take a shortcut home
I ask a Google site to get me through the night, it says
I don’t know
And hearts that were red
Are empty now
I start ducking inside
The only place to hide
Are villagers’ towns
I thought I was a good player
One for the ages
But if I’m needing weapons, why the heck am I crafting pages?

Dying in Minecraft’s death by a thousand hits
Spiders waking me up
Build swords but it’s not enough
‘Cause the nighttime comes, and you’re surrounded
Looking out the windows of my house
Even though zombies break down doors
Torches are not flickering here
‘Cause I can’t pretend I’m good at this when I’m not
It’s death by a thousand hits

My hearts, my hunger, my house, my dog
Tryna find something of mine that isn’t destroyed
I’m hooked on Easy mode like a drug
And I’m searching for shelter in a haunted mansion
My sword, my armor, how still I stand
This Minecraft biome is a lawless land
Move the wrong way from a twitch in my hand
Heart-erase stings from my dumb escape plans
My place, my food, my anvil, my bed
Tryna find something of mine that isn’t blown up
Prepared too much, and it wasn’t enough
But I’ll be alright, it’s just a thousand hits

Build swords but it’s not enough
Cause I’m surrounded
Looking out the windows of my house
Even though zombies break down doors
Torches are not flickering here
‘Cause I can’t pretend I’m good at this when I’m not
No I’m not
It’s death by a thousand hits (isn’t blown up)
Tryna find something of mine that isn’t blown up
My anvil, my food
My bed (death by a thousand hits)
But it wasn't enough, it wasn't enough, no, no

I take a shortcut home
I ask a Google site to get me through the night, it says
I don’t know

That’s Death by a Thousand Hits, part of my Shuffle Up self-challenge.

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Gluteus Minimus - September 23, 2020 - Report this comment

Hi. I've noticed I've been getting a lot of ones. If my parodies are that bad, it's fine, but if it's because of my first, controversial parody, "Vote Trump Away", I'm going to ask you to direct all your bad ratings to the song you mean them for. Love, Gluteus Minimus

Agrimorfee - September 25, 2020 - Report this comment

Glut M., the ratings system has been meaningless around since 2016 here due to the judgement of political content, not the quality. All that matters is the positive comments. I DKTOS (Don't know the original song) but I know enough about Minecraft and RPGs to get it. I enjoyed this. Maybe a little bit more specificity about the game will make it better if you do another Minecraft-themed parody (mention Steve, creepers, slime, Endermen,etc.)

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