Song Parodies -> "I Will Never Ever Wear That Christmas Sweater"

Original Song Title:

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"

Original Performer:

"I Will Never Ever Wear That Christmas Sweater"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Everybody has a Christmas story like this... I hope...

Verse 1: I remember what I opened up, the last year
Christmas presents I can’t get enough, not clear
And having to put on this stupid bluff
Cuz it is the thought that counts (What?)
Grammy comes around again and says, “Honey…”
“I made you something for this Christmas Day, trust me…”
Crocheting it in such a loving way
I think, “A sweater, I hate’em”, you ask me, “I love it!”

Hook: Booooooooo!
I wore it out to eat last night, but
Booooooooo!
This time I’m telling you, I’m telling you

Chorus: I will never ever ever wear that Christmas sweater
I-I will never ever ever wear that Christmas sweater
You could buy me t-shirts, buy me blue jeans, anything
But I-I will never ever ever ever wear that Christmas sweater
(Like ever…)

Verse 2: I’m really sorry for this honest news, Grammy
Wrecking all these Christmas morning moods, but you
Go hide away and listen to the blues, with some
“Nothing Compares 2 U” and drinking booze

Hook: Booooooooo!
I feel like crap, made Grammy cry, but
Booooooooo!
Can’t risk not telling, not telling you

Chorus: Please just never ever ever make me Christmas sweaters
Plea-ease just never ever ever make me Christmas sweaters
You can make me cookies, make me brownies, any treats
But Plea-ease just never ever ever ever make me Christmas sweaters

Booooooooo!
Booooooooo!
Booooooooo!
No!

Bridge: I used to think that gifts were for receivers, ceivers
Now I really think, could be for givers…
Ugh! So she drives on up and she’s like, “I so love you!”
And I’m like, It just--I mean this is hideous
You know? Like I’m never wearing that sweater
Like ever
No!

Chorus: I will never ever ever wear that Christmas sweater
I-I will never ever ever wear that Christmas sweater
I still love you so much, don’t be so crushed, please Grammy
But I-I will never ever ever ever wear that Christmas sweater

Chorus: I--(Booooooo!)
(Booooooo!)
Wait, but that Christmas sweater…
I--
No, it’s an ugly sweater (Ugh!)
I’m just saying bull, cuz I love wool, that’s itchy (that’s itchy)
Cuz I-I will always always always always love your Christmas sweaters

December 8, 2012. Please rate and COMMENT! :)

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Jonathan - December 10, 2012 - Report this comment

you kept leaving out one of the "ever's" which why I gave you a 4 for pacing good parody and have a Merry Christmas! 455

Blaydeman - December 10, 2012 - Report this comment

Actually the first two lines of the choruses have two "evers" and the fourth line has three. So I must respectfully disagree with your comment, but I do appreciate the you taking the time to read and comment on it.

Wendy Christopher - December 12, 2012 - Report this comment

Brilliant parody that matches that ever-so-slightly juvenile vibe in the OS beautifully - and puts a clever and very funny twist on it too. I can relate to the sentiments, having had an auntie who used to raid my gran's wardrobe and send me and my sister her old nightgowns as 'Christmas presents' when we were kids! This parody is a perfect Christmas present, worthy of a 555 :^)

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