Off to catch a bad guy, theft and murder, real asshole
Really thinks he can hide himself and what he stole, I
I can smell the fear and another whiff that's icky
Wait, is he in here? Oh, that's really crap

It's pretty sad, no lie
That he thought that he could hide on the can, now I
Have unlimited quips I can make but there's no time
'Cause I must find the stall this guy
Thinks in which he can hide, he's really in deep shite (oh)

What is his intention? Not a place to say goodbye
No evidence that he was clenchin' onto evidence, that's right, yeah
Drug flushing's not the issue, not much problem I can see
It doesn't smell like pretty flowers but I've learned not to breathe

He's in deep crap, no lie
Really thought his ass could hide on the can, that's right
Well, at least if he's surprised, he picked a place real nice
If I had cops show up when I
Had my pants around my ankles, I'd be in fright (ooh-ooh-ooh)
In deep shit, that's no lie
Right now, he's already been caught, we just have to find
Which stall in which he chose to crouch inside to hide (ooh-ooh-ooh)
And I hope that I'll have to try
Just more than once to find, number two is where he'll be behind

Dumbass caught tonight (oh), dumbass caught tonight (whoo!)
I'll be busting him amonst the other busting guys (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Dumbass caught tonight, dumbass caught tonight
From the outhouse that's inside to the big house, that's right (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh

Put up your hands when I
Use my shoulder to break down the door, your can is mine
No room for a counter, wow, your plan was really shite
All I'm no fan of are the lines
Lots of quips to pick from, right
The old "brown trousers" line? Maybe
Something 'bout hand colours when caught? Should workshop the line (clever line)
It's all that I can think about when I first spied
Your hide ducking in here, so I
Should work ahead of time to come up with cracks that all would like, yeah

Dumbass caught tonight (oh-oh-oh), dumbass caught tonight (oh-oh-oh, oh)
Almost as dumb (oh-oh) 'cause somehow I can't come up with shite
Dumbass caught tonight (oh-oh-oh), dumbass caught tonight (oh-oh-oh)
Feel so stupid (oh-oh), way too many options, it's a crime