You are the putz with the clunker on the street
You are the schmuck who bought a lemon... You thought was sweet
Your dough I'll take, It's clear because I'm sleazy and you're dumb
My cars blow but beat using your thumb

HaHaHa... HaHaHa...

Pontiac Azteks and crappy Ford Pintos
Welcome to our Dealership where Gremlins come and go
Chokin' on exhaust dust as soon as you sign
In my eyes you're a check with a spine

HaHaHa... HaHaHa... HaHaHa!!!

You are the dolt that I made my commission on
It's so enticing to make you poor
You're the dingbat that I'll make my whole paycheck on
You'll make me drool while on this test drive, For sure!
You are the dunce that I made my commission on
Hand me your license, I'll make you roar
The dunderhead that I made all my money on
Car's missing screws but it's the best ride, For sure!

Wood paneled sides with paint that's neon lime
Noticed that shake since the belt... Cost a dime
You think you hate it now?
Wait till you drive it 'round town
Brand new car is gleamin'
Rain makes paint stream

HaHaHa... HaHaHa... HaHaHa!!!

You are the creep that I made my commission on
Not rocket science, Your brain's impaired
You are the punk that I earned my whole rent check on
Who owned this coup? Rap artist Kanye, I swear!
You are the flunkie I made my car payment on
Toyota Prius won't get you far
Thanks to you suckers I bought that hot stripper's thong
Your head's unglued to fall for our crimes so hard

[Matthias]:
Some salesmen should be sent to the funny farm
Come see Matthias, You're sure to score
This salesman's filled with class and all kinds of charm
Those guys are rude but I'm a nice guy, For sure
You'll see the proof that I'm in my prime, For sure