Why'd you send me this long-ass footer?

Out the gate, let me be your assurer
Ain't a friendship ender, nothin' purer
Overstatement that's been caked in sugar?
Fine, you got me, you should be a juror

Just prefacin' bein' a bad language pusher (long-ass footer)
'Cause in my inbox is a brain cooker (long-ass footer)
How could you be such a layout butcher (long-ass footer)?
Really thought that you would be maturer (long-ass footer)
But instead your email is a patience pusher (long-ass footer)
Not the body, that's not the brain cooker (long-ass footer)
It's the outro that's the layout butcher (long-ass footer)
Psychic damage to my poor computer (long-ass footer)

Scrollin' to the end will take forever (brrum)
Really should just sign your name like it's a letter
Size discrepancy, look at the header (for a second)
Info's all in one line before pressin' Enter
Don't need the gifs and rainbow colours
Eye-searin' combos, keep it duller
Feels like a research team's discovered
Ancient LiveJournals, long-dead culture
Long-ass footer, long-ass footer

Why the hell'd you inflict this on my computer (long-ass footer)?
I'm in person as a self-assurer (long-ass footer)
That your emails are no server cookers (long-ass footer)
Of our productivity, a butcher (long-ass footer)
From one email, I've turned into a hair-puller (long-ass footer)
It's a total "not a one-off" looker (long-ass footer)
I won't let it be a hard-drive cooker (long-ass footer)
Do most of my stuff on this computer (long-ass footer)

If this was just a chat between two good friendos (whoo, eh)
I'd be angry but that's only in this home
And others you're chattin' with, I guess so (yes)
Spread all over like a damn manifesto (no, no)
Still pretty shit (good, it's not)
Worst case there, you're shittin' up hard drives full of super silly fanfics (whoo, whoo)
But this is far worse, just a bit (whoa)
Because company computers can't take hits (whoo, oh god)
Both in the case of "kinda garbage" (it's pathetic)
Saved on the hardware to turn profits (big problem)
And since they're interlinked, if one's hit
It's dominos, whole work week, lost it
Long-ass footer, long-ass footer

Ev'ry single person here needs their computer (long-ass footer)
To be functional, we're all insurers (long-ass footer)
If you wanna be a server cooker (long-ass footer)
Plan to be a job-in-new-state looker (long-ass footer)
No-one here will become an impartial juror (long-ass footer) (whoo, don't be stupid, stupid)
At your trial if you're a workflow butcher (long-ass footer)
Never seen an anger that is purer (long-ass footer, uh-huh)
At the fool who nuked all our computers (long-ass footer)

Big problem 'cause you're pathetic
Are my, are my, a-a-are my fears real? Don't know (I still hate it) (long-ass footer)
A-A-Are my fears real? Don't know, will I risk it? Screw that (I, I still hate it) (long-ass footer)
A-A-Are my, are my fears real? Don't know (I, I, I, I still hate it) (long-ass footer)
Still really annoyin', still-still stop it, stop it, stop it (it looks really stupid) (long-ass footer)
Are my, a-a-are my fears real? Don't know (I still hate it) (long-ass footer)
A-A-Are my fears real? Don't know, will I risk it? Screw that (I, I still hate it) (long-ass footer)
A-A, are my fears real? Don't know (I, I, I, I still hate it) (long-ass footer)
Still really annoyin', still-still are my, are my fears real? Don't know (it looks really stupid) (long-ass footer)