[Intro:]
Slap a lot when I feel someone's bein' quite the douche
Slap a lot if I feel like someone's bein' too crude

[Verse 1:]
You know I'm testy, but you called me lame
So dumb, I fear that you won't feel pain
When I whack both my palms right across your face
I don't care if no one shares my approach to rage
Uh

[Chorus:]
That's right, I'm slappy
Slap a lot when I feel someone's bein' quite the douche
You heard, I'm slappy
Slap a lot if I feel like someone's bein' too crude
Correct, I'm slappy
Slap a lot, stops the flow of dumb words comin' from you
That's right, I'm slappy
Slap a lot cause it's just the first thing I tend to do

[Verse 2:]
So don't be rude near me, cause I'll slap (yeah)
How much matters not, I won't hold me back (yeah)
Nope, don't care if you only cut right in line (yeah)
Or a sexist douche who likes to whine
Cause I

[Hook:]
Am far too slappy
Slap a lot cause a punch would just hurt my knuckles, true
I'm way too slappy
Slap a lot, sure it stings, not as much as punches do
I'm far too slappy
Slap a lot, could try talkin' things out, takes too long, dude
A tad too slappy
Slap a lot, my brain tells me that's the right thing to do
Hey, come on, uh

[Bridge:]
Talk you down, won't bother
Talk you down, I've no need to try
Talk you down, can't bother
Talk you down, no way
Talk you down, won't bother
Talk you down, for me, won't suffice
Talk you down, can't bother
Talk you down, that's lame

[Hook + Bridge + Hook:]
I'm still quite slappy
Slap a lot, when you pay one buck when the price is two
I'm really slappy
Slap a lot, when I ask for the time and you refuse
I'm very slappy
Slap a lot, when you screen-cheat when we play Halo 2
A bit too slappy
Slap a lot, my first resort, might be a problem, dude
My way is slappy
Slap a lot, could just be in my own way, I'm a douche
My method: slappy
Slap a lot, it might be that violence ain't what to do
Why am I slappy?
Slap a lot, calmness blows and ain't as memorable, dude
And so I'm slappy
Slap a lot, since I feel that slappin's all I can do
Hey, come on, uh

[Breakdown:]
(Slappy, slappy, slappy, slappy) Talk me down, don't bother
(Slappy, slappy, slappy, slappy) Talk me down, wanna be slapped twice?
(Slappy, slappy, slappy, slappy) Talk me down, dumb sucker
(Slappy, slappy) Talk me down, no brains