Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Tag-alongs
Instant ruination of any game
Tag-alo-o-ongs
Another escort mission? Always lame
I've yet to see one of these guys that aren't rock stupid
Always run towards the goons I'm tryin' to shoot
The A.I.'s so broke, it's become a joke
Complained about this twit online, so ev'rybody knows

That tag-alo-o-ongs (wooh)
Are one of the worst damn things in games, for rea-eal
Hate tag-alo-ongs
The absolute worst use for NPCs
And so, pure rage I feel (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Frustration I fee-ee-eel (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
It's so hard to dea-ea-ea-ea-eal
When they have the IQ of stale cheese, cheese, cheese (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

Hair I'm rippin' (heh)
Sick of escort missions
No rendition
Has ever made the concept work (heheheh)
The NPCs are so daft, always in my line of sight
Accident'ly shoot their eye, get that facepalm feel, oh-oo-oh
Now they're dead, I must reload, so far eighteen times, it blows
In my rage, I'm not alone, most game critics feel

Tag-alo-o-ongs (tag-alongs)
Make gamin' a crap experience for rea-eal (oh yeah yeah yeah, oh-oh)
Damn tag-alo-ongs (tag-alongs)
Always the obnoxious characters, geez (oh yeah yeah yeah, yeah-eah)
Hate t'words this guy I feel (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Always makes me ree-ee-eel (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Think he's a schlemie-ie-ie-ie-iel
Why'd I wanna save his ass? tell me, me, me (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

Such a pain in the do-ong, do-ong
Set traps off left and ri-ight, ri-i-ight
Wish that their stats were stro-ong, stro-ong
Get killed by rats, that's shite
Reload save, they got mau-auled, mau-auled
By some mad undead wi-ights, wi-i-ights
They yell that it's my fau-ault, fau-ault
They're a waste of a sprite

Tag-alo-o-ongs
I shouldn't be mad at somethin' that ain't rea-eal
But tag-alo-ongs
Keep showin' up, no reason I can see
Waitin' for that reveal (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Meanwhile I still ree-ee-eel (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Boss just made a mea-ea-ea-ea-eal
Of this waste-of-pixels NPC, C, C (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

Damn tag-alo-o-ong (tag-along)
I've finally beat the boss, now say your spie-iel (oh yeah yeah yeah, oh-oh)
Dumb tag-alo-ong (tag-along)
"Was that so hard?" I want to break your knees (oh yeah yeah yeah, yeah-eah)
Piss off, I need to heal (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (woah-oh, woah-oh-oh-oh)
Relief's what I fee-ee-eel (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (woah-oh, woah-oh-oh-oh)
What? No, I can't dea-ea-ea-ea-eal (woah-oh, woah-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Next mission's an escort? Up yours, Wii, Wii, Wii (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)