This story’s about a boy, and his name is Melvin
Prep girls and jocks always laughin’ at him
Always ends up being shunned, thinks he looks so dumb
One day, had luck, and it got him love

Then there’s Jill, she cheers, a short skirt and heels
Swimsuit models, they look at her to get her build
Her folks, have gold on toilet bowls
Has shiny golden hair, she’s hot and she knows

But it was Melvin’s wish, wish – ask her for a kiss, kiss
That is when this whiz, whiz – asked out this hot chick, chick
“You’re the kind of girl I am dreaming of
I just thought I’d ask, ‘cause I think it’s love”

She said, “Melvin, you're a really nice guy
Not these basketball guys that had once caught my eye
I mean, you're so shy and I'm loving your tie
See a movie Friday night, ‘cause you seem really nice, oh

Yes he did, yes he did
Somebody please tell me just how he did
It is not a mirage, he is full of luck
Man he sucks, I feel like a schmuck

Man you gotta help us, teach us your ways
How’d a nerd like you get a cheerleader date!?
You’re so lucky! boom, bo-boom, boom
boom, bo-boom, boom great!
Hey, Melvin got a date!

Boom, bo-boom, boom
Boom, bo-boom, boom great!
Got a cheerleader date!

Boom, bo-boom, boom
Boom, bo-boom, boom great!
Hey, Melvin got a date!

Boom, bo-boom, boom
Boom, bo-boom, boom great!
Melvin’s cheerleader date!

And then on Friday night, in his polo
At movie theater, Melvin feeling hopeful
And then after the view, took their photo
Then he asked her if she wanted fro-yo

And so she ordered some chocolate, he got butter pecan
They were laughin’, smilin’, havin’ all kinds of fun
Found out that she loves comic books, like he loves comic books
And he knew that it was love, love, unh

“Melvin, been a hell of a night
You know I really had some fun, had the time of my life
You’re so nice”, wink of the eye
“I still wanna have some fun, and it is only nine, woah!”

Yes he did, yes he did
And now they both sit in the back of her Benz
It is not a mirage, that Melvin’s got luck
Slipped some tongue, and now her shirts up

Now they’re all alone at Ol’ Lovers Lane
Things are heating up, it might go all the way
Got to touch her boob, bo-boob, boob
Boob, bo-boob, boob great!
He got to second base!

Boob, bo-boob, boob
Boob, bo-boob, boob great!
Yeah, he’s on second base!

Boob, bo-boob, boob
Boob, bo-boob, boob great!
He got to second base!

Boob, bo-boob, boob
Boob, bo-boob, boob great!
Melvin’s on second base!

Never thought once in his life he’d have this date
No, no, no, no, no cheerleader date
No, no, no, no, no freakin’ way

Hey there buddy Melvin, teach us your ways
Now you’re in the backseat, on second base!?
Got to touch her boob, bo-boob, boob
Boob, bo-boob, boob great!
Moving past her boob, bo-boob, boob
Boob, bo-boob, boob great!

Those two in the backseat, without delay
Things are heating up, going below her waist
Damn you Melvin! Boom, bo-boom, boom
Boom, bo-boom, boom great!
He’s rounding second base

Boom, bo-boom, boom
Boom, bo-boom, boom great!
Sliding into third base!

Boom, bo-boom, boom
Boom, bo-boom, boom,
It could go all the way!

Boom, bo-boom, boom
Boom, bo-boom, boom,
He’s running towards home plate!