I hopped on a flight at L.A.X.
I’m a big woman who has a ticket
Found a seat with no body access,
Am I gonna fit in it?

FA then blabbed,
“Need a second seat this time”
Got out my credit card and bought the row-fine
Airlines are all so crazy
And I am so sick of skinny ladies

My stomach's churnin' and I'm feelin' kinda air sick
Bad airline food, I might vomit,
That's when it started, I farted- NOW I really have to go!
And the seat belt light was on
And the seat belt light was on
And the seat belt light was on

[Chorus]
So I put my hands up
FA asks what‘s wrong,
Bitch , you better get outta my way
I'm shakin' my head like- TODAY!
I'm movin' my ass like- TODAY!
I hiked my skirt up,
Down the aisle pushin’ strong,
The Restroom’s not that far away
Yeah, bowel movement over the USA!
Yeah, bowel movement over the USA!

Get to the toilet and squeezed in
Everybody's saying “Holy Cow!!!”
"Who's that fat chick, that's takin' a shit?
While we‘re tryin‘ to set down?"

Now I’m searching for the damn TP
And Dammit would you believe it’s those 1-ply sheets!
Emerge to see all the dirty looks
I guess I’m gonna be on Facebook!

My stomach's still churnin' and I'm still feelin’ air sick
Bad airline food, I might vomit,
Again it started, yes, I farted- NOW I really have to go!
And the seat belt light’s still on
And the seat belt light’s still on
And the seat belt light’s still on

So I put my hands up
FA asks what‘s wrong,
Bitch , you better get outta my way
I'm shakin' my head like- TODAY!
I'm movin' my ass like- TODAY!
I hiked my skirt up,
Down the aisle pushin’ strong,
The Restroom’s not that far away
Yeah, bowel movement over the USA!
Yeah, bowel movement over the USA!

Marshall’s stalkin’ on this flight (on this flight)
Gonna be taken down tonight (down tonight)
This happens to me all the time (all the time)
I’ve got IBS and hey that’s just not right!

So I put my hands up
FA asks what‘s wrong,
Bitch , you better get outta my way
I'm shakin' my head like- TODAY!
I'm movin' my ass like- TODAY!
I hiked my skirt up,
Down the aisle pushin’ strong,
The Restroom’s not that far away
Yeah, bowel movement over the USA!
Yeah, bowel movement over the USA!

So I put my hands up
FA asks what‘s wrong,
Bitch , you better get outta my way
I'm shakin' my head like- TODAY!
I'm movin' my ass like- TODAY!
I hiked my skirt up,
Down the aisle pushin’ strong,
The Restroom’s not that far away
Yeah, bowel movement over the USA!
Yeah, bowel movement over the USA!