I heard a song, not long ago
Called the UKIP Calypso
There was an aging DJ gent
Singing in an awful Caribbean accent

What UKIP say's so oversimplified
No surprise people think Farage lied
People who think, think he's simplistic prat
Life is more complicated than that


[Chorus]
Oh dear, if they take charge
And the new Prime Minister is Farage
Riding a wave of fear and hate
I think I'm gonna have to emigrate


The British People have been let down
That’s why UKIP is making ground
But listen people, and don't forget-a
No way UKIP's gonna make things better

I think it's frankly hilarious
Farage likes a beer, so he's "one of us"?
Public schooled, wealthy and what's more
Avoids tax by founding a trust off-shore

[Chorus]
Oh shit, if they take charge
And the new Prime Minister is Farage
They'll leave the country in such a state
I think I'm gonna have to emigrate

They keep saying we're giving away
55 million every day
The exact figure is not so clear
A lot of that money come right back here

Stop exaggerating, Mr Farage
Benefit tourism is not that large
If trade is open and tariff-free
It makes more money for our country

[Chorus]
Oh Christ, if they take charge
And the new Prime Minister is Farage
His smug grin would really nauseate
I think I'm gonna have to emigrate

They say lots of things that are not true
About the actions of EU
The reason may be, I get the hints:
They believe what the Daily Mail prints

But the Mail, you need to probe here
Full of xeno- islamo- and homophobia
Base your views on what they print
You'll be wrong about, well, everything

[Chorus]
Sod that, if they take charge
And the new Prime Minister is Farage
That intellectual lightweight?
I think I'm gonna have to emigrate

If you don't think, or are really dense
UKIP policies make more sense
To leave Europe as is their plan'll
Be hard - build a wall 'cross the English channel?

Farage is the only UKIP voice one hears
Listen to the others, one thing appears:
Been called "closet racists", I'm not so sure
They not in the closet any more

[chorus]
Oh f***, if they take charge
And the new Prime Minister is Farage
With what he'd do to the welfare state
I think I'm gonna have to emigrate

The EU does have a lot wrong with it
I also do not like every single bit
But behaving the UKIP/Farage way?
Taking our ball home, we don't want to play

Vote for UKIP, then we all can
Throw all of our toys out of the pram..
I'd rather see the voters embargo
That party run by Nigel Farrago

[chorus]
F me, if they take charge
And the new Prime Minister is Farage
He can go self-fornicate
I think I'm gonna have to emigrate

Throughout history, our nation
Made great helped by immigration
It isn't nice, it's a little bit evil
When you imply all immigrants are illegal

All you voters please take note
UKIP is not a sensible vote
You'll surely find your error once
You give power to those