Don't be surprised
This story I tell
If you listen it can save you from
A World Wide Web HELL

Started out when
I got my new FIOS plan
Logged on it took me
To the Internet Land

I tried so hard not to get sucked in
But it takes me places I've never been
I click and click on every site in front of me

And I now want to surf the whole damn web
Download everything and compress it in my head
But my wife is pissed off
I can't help it if it makes her sick
I'm just lost on the internet

I took a week off
It stretch into two
There's so many online places I haven't been to
I've haven't had sleep, no food of a sort
I just plug myself into a free USB port

I tried so hard not to get sucked in
But it takes me places I've never been
I click and click on every site in front of me

And I now want to surf the whole damn web
Download everything and compress it in my head
But my wife is pissed off
I can't help it if it makes her sick
I'm just lost on the internet

My kids say that I've gone too far
I have a compulsive need
For FIOS speed
Somebody pull the plug

Instrumental Break and Download

And I know that someone was looking out for me
When a bolt of lightning struck a nearby tree
It caused a blackout and I started to shout, " I AM FREE "

When I woke I saw what I had become
To my wife and kids I had
Become so numb
It made me upset, all the time ill spent, lost on the internet

Oh, you know, it'll be alright
Since we're gonna switch from FIOS to Dial Up service tonight
Though it will be real slow
I know that it won't make me sick
And lost on the internet

And lost on the internet

This story is true
It's my own case of surfer regret
( I say, surf, surf , surf makes you a smurf, smurf, smurf)
Getting lost on the internet
( Surf, surf, surf, smurf, smurf, smurf)
No more blue in the face, yeah