[Dad]
My son is now home, college summer one
Filling his brain with things brand new
Distance is so long, to keep our bond strong,
Wrote him a letter each week or two…

[Teenage Son]
But why? You didn’t have to write letters
Sounds like too much work for me
There’s now this thing they call email,
Or even send out a tweet

You say you’d get stamps and lick them,
Why not give texting a try?
It isn’t the eighteen-hundreds
Throw all your paper right out

Won’t waste all my time,
Some of us have lives
And our Facebook time’s,
Important- that’s right!
Old days sound so dumb,
With all this cool stuff here, why go outside?

What is a payphone? Used ‘em to call home?
Had to bring change, a quarter or two?
Quarters are long gone, doing it all wrong
Have to bring plastic, you confused?

Don’t even wear a watch now on my wrist
Why go see a film? We’ve got Netflix
Thirty years ago, man I’d be pissed
Glad when I was born to live like this

Oh, you waited six months for vinyl
Bought it on iTunes today
Showed up to class- take your final
Now it’s online anyway.

Had to develop your own film,
But now we have Instagram
The olden days were a bore,
We both have Nintendo, but wow!

Some Mario guy,
Hero plumber? Right
And this Bowser guy
Sounds made up, a lie!
Your games sound so dumb,
It’s sad when the game Pong is the highlight!

You’re making me groan, I don’t care how long
You had to walk to get to school
Have cars of our own, paid by dad and mom
If you’re walking, you’re just not cool

Wear torn up clothes because they look so chic
No one even reads ‘cept nerds and geeks
Everything you own is an antique
We’ve got John Cena, who’s Iron Sheik?

Now please leave me alone…

[Dad]
Man, you damn kids!
I'll am out earning all this money
Since you were seven, coloring
Rather stay at home, than go out go clubbing
You see a girls bottom
Hook up, then flee- leave next morning

Son, all of my days start with a nice conversation
But not with my shawty, or my ho
Or whatever you call them,
But with my wife, you call mom
Don’t you ever forget it
When I proposed, gave my love,
You can tell it meant something

Kids, what a shame- disappointed
Worry about your grades not about what you bought
Please don’t wait outside to buy a new iPod
“Or what you could have saw!?” Your grammar’s bad, it’s over for.
And don’t hook up prom night, please wait for
Very special day, don’t end up with some whore
Now there’s cameras all about,
so she can go and end up on Teen Mom next week with you.

[Teenage Son]
I’ll take my cell phone and I’m leaving home
Won’t stay and get lectured by you
Man you are so old, worked with the Flintstones
Please join this century, won’t you?

[Dad]
There’s no way you will talk to me like this,
Sure I may be old, but this is it
I’ll take you downtown, so use your wits
You can walk right back home, call for hints…

[Son]
But what is a payphone...?