You’d be filled with hate if you took this trek
I’m a total noob so I’m so confused
I’ll fly around and I’m yelling “Whoa!”
I’ll race through the clouds, A case of booze in tow
Co-pilot’s screaming “You are way too wild!”
Near death, That parachute you cling, You’re about to puke
Tackling dangers with me up in flight
Someday this skill I’ll hone

Well, I have paid the price to be a pilot pro
Filled with bile but trust me, I’ll miss the trees
I bet I can land and it won’t twirl, I think…
Hope we won’t explode
All these knobs I’ll pulling and this jet will weave
We’ll float like a feather once my wings have caught the breeze
Still yelling “Yikes” eyes bulge from your dome
Why do you cause such a fuss each time I text on my phone?

I never flew a plane, I’m not even a driver
Will I ever get my license? Get hired?

I must be getting better just hit one bird not two
That Air Force fleet they said “Go buy a clue”
Those Kamikazes gave me the cold shoulder
They just crash, That I can do!

Oh, You need big brass balls to take my plane
A ruined glide that turbulence’s blamed
Irritated since I’m still in flight school
They think I’m insane, Mess with the tools

I never flew a plane in the cockpit I slumber
Will I ever get my license? I’m dumber

No, I never flew a plane so this test is a stumper
Will I ever get my license? Park in the hanger?

And when I graduate I will be the best
Now my mind’s unglued and you’d all be screwed
We spin like there’s ice, These brakes won’t slow
I can’t even guide a drone

No, I never flew a plane so there’s no First Class comfort
Will I ever be Sky Captain? Tourists suffer

There was a long wait but I’m getting checks
I’m in the flight crew
Though my mind’s still goo
We’ll slam the ground making Spirit dough….