Patience is depleted
It's eroded, ran out, it's dry
What's got me heated?
It's the way you're drinkin' your Sprite
I just can't bear it, head churns
Hate how your straw scrapes so

You've emptied your cup, so don't mess around
Just toss out your cup, you've slurped it down
I can't take the slurps, I hate that sound

It's not just this instance
You do this at home and in town
I sure wish you'd quit it
Cause there's no point to the whole thing now
You've drunk the last drop, you jerk
There's jack-all there, you know
You didn't have ice, you twerp
That claim'll have to go

No more in your cup, stop messin' around
Throw out your damn cup, you've slurped it down
I can't take your slurps, that heinous sound

With ev'ry drink I roll my eyes
Because you feel that it's quite alright
To make awful sounds that ring
Through my ears, poundin' the whole day, stings
Could lose my mind, please tone it down
Not just the one person here who frowns
They're all appalled, the customers
Who stiffed the waiter think you're a jerk
Soft drink or wine, you still hurt
My inner ear, you know

Glass or plastic cup, always mess around
Dispose of your cup, you've slurped it down
I can't take the slurps, the worst damn sound
Not a small issue, you jerk
When you cause pain in all of my nerves
I can't take your slurps, such a bad sound
Would your balls like a tough jerk?
No? Thought so, mate, won't want them to burst
I can't take the slurps, least fav'rite sound