Tryna sell this old house before it falls down
Really not sure how, windows are blown out
The paint bond is nearly done rejectin'
The hot water won't flow, floor boards squeak and croak
And nobody knows what that smell is, gross (really gross)
Looks bad to anyone inspectin'

Dumb down all that, dumb down ev'rythin' that's wrong
That's what the real estate job has been depicted to be
You dumb down, all that, dumb down ev'rythin' that's wrong
And that's what I'd be doin' normally

But this house? It's liveable
No, can't sugar-coat all the flaws no more
Yeah, it's simply liveable
It won't blow up, I'm sure (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Splintered doorknobs, they might hurt
But it's only pain, it can still get worse
This house is just liveable
Mostly weathers the storms (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Though it comes with a garage, can't fit cars
Got debris from stuff straight fallin' apart
The last people to live here neglected
To convince you is my job but the truth's come out
I can't lie right now, this place should come down
To say it's still intact's deflectin'

Fall down on you? Fall down, crush you with its walls?
I'm happy I can say that's not a possibility
Won't fall down on you, fall down, crush you with its walls
But that's a bar so low, it's been buried

This house is just liveable
If your standards are Marianas low
Yeah, it's only liveable
I wish it wasn't so (oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
I can cover up small quirks
But I'd break my brain to put in the work
To lift this from "liveable"
Just passable, that's all (oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)

It's a craphole but I must sell it
Although it's shit
It's a dungheap but I must sell it
This house is the pits
It's a shitpile but I must sell it
To keep employment
It's a bad house but I must sell it
Just too much to fix

It could be made more liveable
"A real fixer-upper", heard that before
But to get this liveable
Will need the cash to pour
And I'm not sure if it's worth (hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Buyin' a new place to not live there, hurts (ha-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Wait 'til it's more liveable (hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Too long to be restored (oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
House is only liveable (hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
You can sleep inside it, that's it, no more (ha-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Yeah, just that, it's liveable (hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)
No better lots in store (oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh) (no good houses in store)
Zero jokes, none in reserve
Just one house for sale (too bad it's the worst) and it's just the worst
Well, it is still liveable (oh-ooh)
But that is it, no more (oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)