Reviewers are pigeonholed
Into somethin' that's quite limited
Either "I'd rather punch myself in the balls"
Or "Best since Citizen Kane, this flick"
It isn't just, isn't just, isn't just films, alright
Those reviewer dudes
Are stuck in the forced binary of just "great" or "shite"
Feels a bit stiff, true

It's only "good" or "bad", at least it feels like that
I just want someone to say that somethin's mediocre
Not exactly the best but not a total mess
That's all I want but their ratin's never mediocre

Call it mediocre, just a "C" and nothin' over, that's it
And not much lower, not a five-star, not a loner, won't stick
Won't be watchin' it over and then over again
Only mediocre, jokes a mix of good and groaners, just limp
Not a no-hoper or an Oscar darlin', hope I can get
This point through, hate to go through it all over again

I guess I could get the disparity
If I look at it through this frame:
To get any notice on the Internet
It seems you must exaggerate
A video, video, video essay might
Get some views, good views
But if you want the algorithm to treat you nice?
You're kinda screwed

All your thoughts? Keep 'em flat, translate to "good" or "bad"
Just those two boxes, not one that's labelled "mediocre"
Sometimes they're such a mess that you take them in jest
"So bad, it's good" fun, that's great, still never mediocre

Call it mediocre, though I know that won't go over that well
With all the ogres in the comment section, loathin' that hell
But you have to get over all your hopes to do well
Say they're mediocre, I'm so disappointed over the thing
You said was so damn good but wasn't that much over a "6"
I've seen "bad" movies, loads better than "load of pure dreck"

Can't be only highs and the lowest shite
"Good" or "bad", what about the only mediocre?
Might seem weird that I've drawn this kinda line
But that's how I am, hate how it's never mediocre, hea-eah

"Don't watch YouTube, you twat, it's such a bad format!"
Not gonna dump 'cause they never say it's mediocre

Won't say "mediocre" 'cause your stats won't make it over? That's shit
Totally bogus, don't keep your real feelin's close, let me in
Kinda sad that you won't be honest, open up quick (pretty sad that you don't act honest, open up quick)
Call it mediocre, whether it's a game, a tome or a flick
Wanna be knowin' if your criticism's growin' a bit
Take a chance, rate it lower than "A", over an "F" (lower than "A", over an "F")

Want to see you types of reviewers climb
'Bove the chaff, have the balls to say it's mediocre
Could expand what I watch, don't have the time
Improve what I have, step one: no "never mediocre"