Posted on Facebook
What did I see?
Jollyboat have done an X-Factor
Parody

I watched their video
T'was funny as hell
I thought if they can do it
I can as well

But it was lacking
In sex and perversion
Figured then that I would have to
Write my own version

Something dark and twisted
Lacking in tact, a
Song that'll have the
XXX-factor

A song about love, not
Between the same genus
A song of wiping lipstick
From off my collar

I'll sing about doing it
From above and below
Oh, God, I'm looking forward
To making the video

This is my version
My own version
Ed and Tommy gonna groan
To hear that I've made it my own
A cliché, X-factor cliché
I'll copy and I'll twist their tune
When they top the pops, then I'll be number two

XXX-factor will increase the traffic
'Cause everyone'll click hoping that it's pornographic
Maybe Ben Dover could do the production
Making sure the vid is full of filth and corruption

I'm feeling so inadequate, I'll do what you urge me
Answer that email, and go get some surgery
Thank you, I will go and get surgery
Thank you, I will go and get surgery
Thank you, I will go and get surgery
Thank you, I will ooooooow

I hope it's not too looooooooooo
Looooooooooo

This is my penis
My big penis
I keep it in a petri dish
It's rotting now, and smells of fish
Haddock, yes, it's haddock
I'm sure that that bit will get cut
If I can think of more words, f***...

That was key change
Missed the key change
No one told me it was there
I'm in the wrong key, it's not fair
I'm buggered, tot'ly buggered

My version of Jollyboat's tune
It's kind of shit.. just right for number two