Chomp chomp on a pie
I can see loads of them out the corner of my eye
Bacon, egg and sausages - are better fried
I’m looking out for a feast tonight
Apples and oranges, bananas and pears
I’ll have whatever food that you have got there

I don't care what is on offer; I eat a lot of food
You know me I’ll try anything new
Got my own kitchen porter, to bring me all me food
I’ll eat anything even if it's stewed
Can’t stop chewing on my pen, my pen
Will you get a drink my friend, tea with two sugars
Can’t stop chewing on my pen, my pen
Will you get a drink my friend, tea with two sugars

Bon bon’s are so nice
Serve it up on a bed of rice
Caviar’s good but its high priced
I would rather have some carrots sliced
Onion bhaji, noodles with prawns
I’ll even have a bit of salad if it’s warm

I don’t care what is on offer; I eat a lot of food
You know me I’ll try anything new
Got my own kitchen porter, to bring me all my food
I’ll eat anything even if it’s stewed
Give me all them potatoes, wait though
Don’t forget about my nando’s, peri-peri chicken
And a hot cup of cocoa, wait though
Bring me back a ploughman’s meal for my din-dins

Bow, for the biggest man in Britain
There’s, not many close that fit him
Finds, food with every limb
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner

You, won’t find him drinking a beer
He, would rather eat a pig’s ear
Don’t, bring any animals near
Because he will eat them

I don't care what is on offer; I eat a lot of food
You know me I’ll try anything new
Got my own kitchen porter, to bring me all me food
I’ll eat anything even if it's stewed
I don't care what is on offer; I eat a lot of food
You know me I’ll try anything new
Got my own kitchen porter, to bring me all me food
I’ll eat anything even if it's stewed
Can’t stop chewing on my pen, my pen
Will you get a drink my friend, tea with two sugars
Can’t stop chewing on my pen, my pen
Will you get a drink my friend, tea with two sugars

Eat a, eat a, lot of food
Even, even, if it’s stewed
Eat a, eat a, lot of food
Even, even,
Even if it’s stewed