Born as a fatty, I was raised with hell
A husky child, made the classmates yell
“He’s so forlorn, man he can’t even run”
My town never stopped poking their fun

My new pants size is a zero
I finally made it as a dieting hero

21 calorie chowdown
Eat half a grape, but can’t wash it down
I’ve finally lost my massive thunder thighs
Now a seven inch perfect size waistline

I was eating poisonous food
Empty sugars that made me feel no good
Eating portions, oh so very small
Walk down the street, have no shadow at all

My new pants size is a zero
I finally made it as a dieting hero

21 calorie chowdown
Cucumber juice then I must lie down
I weigh less than the scale that I stand on
I also gain half a pound when I yawn

Thanks to this diet, I don’t like to eat
Only consume things like bread crumbs and seeds
Twenty one calories each time I dine
When I go crazy, I might have twenty nine

Friends say I’m boring
And I’m no fun
They sit and just roll their eyes

I’m the one laughing
They eat what they want
And stuck with cottage cheese thighs

We are a nation
I would call deep fried
I laugh as their bellies grow

I stand behind lamp posts
And watch all my friends
“Where did that skinny guy go?”

I swallowed my pride
And a pound I did gain
When there’s a strong wind I just float
No chicken fingers
Never touched my teeth
Cause they are wider than my throat

Eat one lemon wedge
And then I’m set for days
And flour just widens my frame
I sit in my living room
Spending my time
Thinking ‘bout the good old days

Someone help me
Need Wendy’s right away
This size just is not for me
I can’t waste more time...

“Oh eat, you skinny boy, eat
There’s no need to sleep
Stuff your face till dawn

Oh eat, you skinny boy, eat
Until you can’t see
your feet or your palms”