Be still, my heart when walkin' round this K-Mart
Avoid the evil, evil-centred part
Know I look nuts, the way my skin gets goosebumps
Around the children's, children's section 'cause

They get my eye twitchin', I'm afraid that they'll pop
Out of their box
Little plastic demons, twisty-ties may not stop
The wrath they've got
Believe me, dude
Those things are after me, they're on the hunt for me
I can't provoke attacks
So I'll meet you
Next to the checkout, please, they have no rage for thee
I'm the one who'll get stabbed
By action figures, stabbed
By dress-up dollies, stabbed
By plush Pokémon, stabbed
By RC sports cars, stabbed
Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed
Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed

By toys, live toys
By toys, live toys
They're made of plastic but they're still mean and manic
If their painted peepers locate me then they'll start flyin'
Damned toys, live toys
Damned toys, live toys
I'm right to panic when I know that their plastic
Cages will not keep 'em held, they'll see me and start flyin'

It's the truth, don't look at me the way you do
You can't convince me, trick me that I'm spooked
Only crazed, insane, ready to display
Marathon skills cause I just watched Child's Play

Please, my time is tickin', I'll soon face an assault
Plastic revolt
If I dare go inchin' closer to those shelves, halt
Just let me bolt
I'll get creamed, dude
Never been trained, you see, to fight enough Barbies
To clog my toilet, man
I don't need you
Pokin' your fun at me cause all I want's to leave
No fan of bein' stabbed
By little robots, stabbed
By dino playsets, stabbed
By teddy bear hordes, stabbed
By tiny marbles, stabbed
Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed
Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed
Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed
Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed
Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed
Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed

I'll be bleedin'
That's right, bleedin'
I'll be bleedin'
Don't like bleedin'
I'll be bleedin'
Soon be bleedin'
I'll be bleedin'
Be left bleedin'

By toys, live toys
By toys, live toys
Demonic plastic, they'll find my spleen and stab it
Have no fear, they'll leave you, I'm not evil, quit your lyin'