Man, feel a fool for this one (ha)
Oh Lord, as plans go, this is real dumb

Hah, it's been three days or four (uh)
Been stuck in this place, this blows (yeah)
On me's all the blame, my fault
Yeah, yeah
Don't know how this looked good (good)
Might've been drunk, bad fluids (ha)
Now I'm stuck in a rose bush
Yeah, yeah, yeah

No, this ain't my place, suck at gardenin' bullshit (ha)
Explains why I didn't notice that this one plant here could
Be full of that thorn bullshit (they stab)
I coulda backed out but, to be fair, I'm lazy
And scared of that "bleedin' out" bullshit (shit)
If it was just pokey things, I wouldn't go
And complain in this way, that's just petty (haa)
Gets worse, you know, position I chose
Contortionists say it's too twisty
I think I ended like that out of sheer avoidance
Of those thorns all up in my bus'ness (ha)
Still stuck with them stickin' in both of my bollocks
The life of a pretzel, I'm livin' (uh)
But as an issue, I don't think that stacks up
To the fact that I'm covered in insects (hah, hah)
Ask which type? Not in a position to know
Not just meanin' how I'm real twisted (twist up)
The notes in my brain don't exactly extend
To bug types, of which there's, like, a billion (yeah)
If entomology even was my thing, bud
Right now, I can't commit to thinkin' (smart thinkin')
Cause I think this is where some doggos
Or some other pet-type has chosen for shittin' (plop, plop, plop)
Goddamn, I wish I was kiddin'
Great comedy typic'lly involves poop-smellin' ('fraid so)
Not too deep in their crappin'
Stench is still a bad one, got tears in my eyes that are wellin' (that bad)
All in all, I think today just might be
The second-worst thing I've ever had to deal with (ha)
And your next question is one that I must pass on
Not in the mood for that, don't feel it (skip, uh)

Hah, I'm in great pain, this sucks (uh)
A lot of limb strain and such (yeah)
Thorns all in my taint, it's nuts
Yeah, yeah
No shock, this don't feel good (good)
If I could go, I'd do it (ha)
Cause I'm stuck in a rose bush
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Hah, in this one place, I'm stuck (uh)
Guess I should explain, it's dumb (yeah)
Can't look smart, no way, this sucks
Yeah, yeah
Can't dwell on what I should (should)
Have done, it's done, it's stupid (ha)
Since I'm stuck in a rose bush
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How do I get here? The wrong plan (dumb)
To sneak into that mansion to get back the wallet
I left there from when I last robbed that (robbed)
Kinda awkward, swiped all of their finest silver
All of their jewels and their Xbox, man (ha)
Yet I dropped my damn wallet right onto the floor
Yes, it's funny, but quit laughin', stop that (twit)
Why did I bring it in the first place? Good question
I needed my licence because, man
I needed to minimise the chances that I'd get (screwed)
Pulled right over by the cops, man (true)
I did this thing solo, nobody would help me
Least of all you, you big asshole (ha)
I bet that you'll nick all of my stolen items
Now that I've got thorns up my back hole
Dude, I know that you've got this mansion scoped out
You could sneak in and grab my damn wallet (prick)
You backed out of the heist cause you said you were sick
Didn't wanna leave traces of vomit
Flippin' between my help pleas and callin' you "Prick"
Blame that on my real awkward position (uh-huh)
Say you already got it? Nicked more stuff? Well done
Guess you wanted to see some more squirmin' (nice on)

Hah, well, if we were switched, you're stuck (uh) (yeah)
I'd do the same thing, we suck (yeah)
But criminals stick with buds
Yeah, yeah (yeah)
Careful, my pants are hooked (hooked)
Could lead to scenes more stupid (ha)
If they're left on the rose bush
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Hah, if you can reach, then stuff (uh) (yeah)
In my mouth a decent plug (yeah)
So that I don't scream a bunch
Yeah, yeah
This whole thing was not good (good)
All kinds of dumb and stupid (ha)
Hate that stupid-ass rose bush
Yeah, yeah, yeah